In spite of forces of modernity, various ethnic groups in Nigeria still stick to exotic bride prices, writes CHUX OHAI, with contributions from CHARLES ABAH, SAMUEL AWOYINFA, BUKOLA ADEBAYO and JAYNE AUGOYE
Maxwell Ojo (not real name) was going to
get married, at last. After a few unsuccessful attempts at finding a
suitable woman to walk with him down the aisle, he finally made a
choice.
Nkechi, the pretty and soft-spoken
damsel that stole his heart three years ago, was the chosen one. She was
in her early 30 and already, very ripe, as it were, for marriage by the
time they met aboard a domestic flight from Enugu to Lagos.
A few months later, Maxwell was
convinced that he had found his ‘missing rib’, the right woman to spend
the rest of his life with.
Nkechi had told him on their first
outing together that she was a native of Nnewi. Initially, he had not
even the faintest idea of what the town looked like. Upon investigation,
he learnt that it was an important town in Anambra State. Nnewi, he
was told, was not just a relatively prosperous town, but it is also the
hometown of the late Biafra war leader, Chief Chukwuemeka
Odumegwu-Ojukwu, and the likes of Dr. Cosmas Maduka, the Chairman/CEO
of Coscharis Group of Companies; Chief Innocent Chukwuma, a leading
manufacturer and Chairman of Innoson Group of Companies, among many
others.
Finally, armed with this knowledge,
Maxwell set out in company with six relatives to meet his prospective
in-laws for the first time. The journey was smooth. They met the city
located in a serene Igbo countryside, about 25 minutes from the bustling
commercial city of Onitsha.
But Nnewi is no less a commercial
town, as he later found out. Modern houses seemed to sprout with ease,
as he drove through Oraifite and Edo Ezennewi streets, as well as the
busy Nkwo Nnewi area. The roads were tarred and almost free of bumps.
The formal introduction went quite
smoothly as anticipated. The prospective in-laws lavishly entertained
the guests. Maxwell felt on top of the world until the moment Nkechi’s
uncle, Mazi Akachukwu Okechukwu, handed him a compulsory list of items
to be presented for the traditional wedding, known among the Igbo as
‘Igba Nkwu’, to take place.
Top on the list was a new motorcycle. A
large he-goat and several boxes of assorted clothing materials and
household items, among others, followed it.
Observing the incredulous expression on Maxwell’s face, Okechukwu offered an explanation.
He said, “My in-law, the motorcycle is a
traditional gift that we must present to our daughter on the day of her
wedding. Nnewi women are precious and custom demands that they must not
face undue burden in their husband’s homes. The motorcycle is supposed
to serve as their means of transportation to the market and anywhere
else, they choose to go as married women. This is our tradition.”
Maxwell did not know what to say to
that. However, the furrows on his face deepened as he learnt that it was
also his responsibility to provide the entertainment for the guests on
the day of the ‘Igba Nkwu’.
Different strokes
Thomas Nimyel, a native of Plateau State, was over the moon.
After meeting his prospective father
in-law for the first time in Calabar, Cross River State, where his
fiancée hails from, he was informed that the bride price (Okuk Ndo), in
Efik language, cost only N25.
Nimyel heaved a sigh of relief and
relaxed. Initially he was scared that his father in-law might present
him with an intimidating list for the traditional marital rites. This
was because he had saved up a lot of money from his meagre salary as a
federal civil servant in order to embark on this journey.
Nimyel’s prospective in-laws also gave
him a list of requirements for the traditional marriage ceremony or Nkpo
Ndo in Efik. On the list, there were certain things that he was
expected to do for the bride, her father, mother, village youth and
women.
Before he got too excited, his in-laws
promptly informed him that the notion that Efik traditional marriage is
not an expensive one was relative, as the contents of their native
marriage list, varied from one family to the other. More so, in
certain families, the list is near inexhaustible, as the groom must buy
certain items for his bride’s extended family members such as
grandparents, cousins and in-laws.
Also, the groom needs, among other
things, to provide a full trunk box of assorted clothes for his
wife-to-be. The items include Holland wrapper (Hollandis), George and
Ankara materials/wrappers, blouses, dresses, bags, jewellery, shoes, and
umbrellas.
However, in the Efik traditional
marriage (Ndo Efik), the bride’s parents bear the responsibility of
providing entertainment for guests on the D-day. For the groom, it is
not compulsory that he has to contribute to the ceremony financially.
Nonetheless, if he feels like providing assistance, in cash or kind, the
bride’s parents will happily accept the offer.
The Ijesha and the she-goat
The traditional marriage ceremony in
Ijesha land in Osun State is not that different from what obtains in
other part of Yorubaland. Nowadays, it serves as the prelude to a
‘white’ wedding in the church for most families.
During the ceremony, the groom and his
family will present the dowry and other necessary requirements demanded
by the bride’s family.
The marriage list includes items, such
as a she-goat, several sticks of sugarcane, bottles of aromatic
Schnapps, bottles of honey/sugar and salt, and eja abori (a variety of fish that is considered highly nutritious).
Others comprise a keg of palm oil, a gourd of palm wine, and pairs of shoes.
The she-goat is symbolic in a way. It is
a symbol of fertility. The combination of salt, sugar and honey
symbolises that the marriage would be blissful and full of sweet
experiences.
The Holy Bible/Q’uoran is meant to serve
as a constant reminder of their faith and the need to make recourse to
it whenever the couple faces a serious challenge in the marriage. The
palm oil and palm wine are also considered to be significant.
Why Okun (Kogi) people demand pigs
For the Okun in Kogi State, the marital
rites are a different ball game. For instance, the engagement ceremony
cannot be complete without a pig in tow. The animal, in fact, is the
most symbolic in the traditional marriage solemnisation of the people.
In Egbe, Yagba West Local Government
Area of the state, the groom’s parents must traditionally present a fat
and juicy sow (female pig) to their in-laws.
On the significance of the pig, the Head
of the Olorunponmi clan in Odo-Egbe, Baba Onile, said the animal for
such a ceremony “is not just ordinary.”
He said, “Pigs are known to have
multiple births (piglets). Have you ever heard that a big is barren? We
ask for it and insist that we eat it on the engagement day because it
shows that the union will be fruitful.
“We are not bothered about the cash you
bring as dowry. The groom would only need to give a new naira note of
any denomination but we strongly believe that the pig is the ultimate
bride price.”
In the North, due to their
pre-occupation with cattle rearing, the groom’s family presents to the
bride’s relations either a whole cow or the lap of a slaughtered cow,
depending on family’s choice.
Mrs. Jamila Jacobs, a native of Kaduna
State, who got married a few weeks ago, said her parents emphasised on
boxes full of clothes, salt, as well as a cow lap for the traditional
engagement.
‘Cash and carry’ marriages
Although love may be the driving factor
for men like Maxwell Ojo and Thomas Nimyel, who chose to marry women
from other tribes, investigation shows that it hardly counts when it
comes to traditional marriages in some parts of the country. Instead,
the ability of an intending groom and his family to meet all the
requirements for the marriage ceremony is important to the family of his
wife-to-be.
If the suitor is a native of the lady’s
hometown, his chances of scaling the initial hurdles are usually
brighter than a non-native’s. To buttress this point, a native of
Umuahia in Abia State, Mr. Okechukwu Egbulife, says it is cheaper for a
native to be engaged to a woman than a suitor from a different part of
the country.
Egbulife notes that while the
traditional rites could be relaxed for a native, who is interested in
marrying one of their daughters, the privilege is not extended to a
non-native.
For example, in Mbaise, Imo State, a
suitor is expected to present 100 tubers of yam; 10 pieces of Hollandis;
five pairs of shoes; 20 cartons of beer; 10 crates of mineral; one big
container of snuff; two rolls of cigarettes; two big basins; two
handbags and two bottles of hot drinks.
Other requirements are powder, pomade,
umbrella, sugar, biggest tin of Milo and milk, walking-stick, a bag of
rice, one carton of bar soap, and five packets of matches.
Also, another native, Mrs. Chineye Nwogu, says the suitor is required to pay N100, 000 to the bride’s family.
“This sum of money, however, is
negotiable, depending on the bride’s level of education. For instance,
the dowry for a bride, who has only a school certificate, is different
from the sum paid on a bride, who holds a university degree.
“The bride’s family background is also
an important factor. An educated family is likely going to be more
considerate than another that is less educated. In other words, while
the less educated family will insist on fulfilling all the native rites,
the educated one may give the suitor some concession.”
However, there is a danger in not
completing the rites. “If, for instance, something untoward happens to
the bride, perhaps death or divorce, the assumption is that her husband
would be at the losing end. In the case of death, her husband would be
compelled to first complete the marital rites or he loses the right to
bury his wife in his hometown. If the latter prevails, the man is as
good as not married to the woman at all,” she says.
Among the Okrika people of Rivers State,
traditional marriage is not just an elaborate affair, it is also
considered as one of the most expensive around the country. For
instance, a suitor is often handed a long list of requirements that he
must fulfil before the marriage takes place. He is expected to present
the bride’s parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents with several
items, including cash.
The bride’s parents are each entitled to
cash gifts totalling N200,000 and even more. This excludes cash gifts
to be presented to her grandparents and other members of the extended
family.
Fulani’s simple procedure
The Fulani traditional marriage ceremony
counts among the simplest and most convenient in the country. But it
was gathered that the Fulani are not too keen on engaging in
inter-tribal marriage, except with the Hausa who share the same religion
with them. But marriages may be arranged among families even before the
birth of their children.
Although it is believed that young
suitors are often made to pass through a traditional test of endurance
known as the Sharo, in which they take turns to be whipped, Mallam
Salisu Usman, a native of Sokoto resident in Lagos, says it is no longer
considered necessary.
“The world is changing and, so, some
customs and traditions are being discarded,” he says, adding that more
Fulani are getting married to non-natives from other parts of the
country.
To marry a Fulani girl, a man is usually
required to present gifts of textile materials (Ankara is preferable),
beauty products and small amounts of cash to the bride and her parents.
If the girl’s parents accept the gifts and give their consent, the
marriage ceremony proceeds to the next stage.
For the marriage proper, a dowry (or
Sadaaki), three sets of big bags filled with perfumes, beauty products
and clothes, respectively are the requirements, which the groom must
provide. After the ceremony, the bride’s relatives will escort her to
her husband’s home.
0 Comments